Front Of House Offences

Missed pickup

£20.00

Missed tape cue

£20.00

Late tape cue

£50.00

Early tape cue

£75.00

Wrong tape cue

£150.00

Going on an uncalled cue

£10.00

Not going on an uncalled cue

£500.00

Failure to bail out clueless stage manager

£0.01

Unauthorized bailing out of clueless stage manager

OSTRACISM

Failure to duck out offensive orchestral players

£35.00

Failure to duck out offensive vocalizations

£55.00

Feedback

£100.00

Falling asleep at console

£20.00

Causing feedback by falling asleep at console

£150.00

Audible snoring at console

£75.00

Making audible rude comments on the performance

£5.00

Failure to maintain correct mixing levels

£150.00

Failure to correct glaring errors caused by designer

£50.00

Correcting glaring errors caused by designer

LOSS OF JOB

Wireless Offences

Failure to mute faulty wireless

£100.00

Failure to mute wireless when actor is not on stage

£50.00

Failure to mute wireless while actor is in bathroom

£2.00

Recording wireless while actor is in bathroom

£0.00

Recording wireless while actor is gossiping

£0.00

Listening to wireless gossip on headphones

WHO'LL KNOW?

Self-serving use of wireless gossip

£5,000.00

Backstage Offences

Unauthorized use of wireless condoms

£300.00

Recycling wireless condoms

£300.00

Overzealous transmitter changes on opposite sex cast members

£69.00

Overzealous transmitter changes on same sex cast members

£66.00

Recycling batteries

£20.00

Failure to recycle batteries

£150.00

Failure to share vast wealth from recycling batteries with:

Contract Department Head   

DISMEMBERMENT

House Department Head

DEATH

Stage Manager

£5.00

General Offences

Excessive whining

£10,000.00

Excessive cheerfulness

£15,000.00

Hiding/sleeping during load-in

ELECTROCUTION

Hiding/sleeping during load-out

HANGING